Only the Good Die Young
by Delena Aneled Hupp
Summary: (One-shot) Remus Lupin listens to music while reminiscing. One song describes the events in his life, perfectly; and the sadness of so many unexpected deaths overwhelms him. Might be slash; might not. Depends on how you think. R&R please! *errors fixed!*


Only the Good Die Young

By: Delena/ Aneled Hupp

Rating: PG

Category: Drama/angst

Disclaimers: I don't own the Marauders, Andromeda or Lily; they are beloved property of JK Rowling. No-one But You (Only the Good Die Young) is property of Queen. Long live the Spirit of Freddie Mercury! For that matter, long live the Spirit of Sirius Black! ::sniffles:: great, double depressing…

Summary: Remus Lupin listens to music while reminiscing. One song describes the events in his life, perfectly; and the sadness of so many unexpected deaths overwhelms him.

Notes: Just angsty depression I think. It could be slashy if you want to think it is; if you don't, then that's fine too. Oh, by the way; this is a one-shot. Too many multi-chapter projects already. Gak! It's so hard to write this ambiguously and not drop mad insinuations of slash! Must be strong… The fact that I was reading slash does not help in the least… Ootp spoilers.

Remus Lupin sifted through the collection of eight track tapes and records stashed in cellar of his home. After Sirius was sent to Azkaban Remus felt the odd impulse; despite feeling nothing but fury at his thought-to-be friend; to save some of the convicted man's favorite items. The collection of rock records and eight tracks were no exception. On another odd impulse; he took them with him when Grimmauld Place was the new headquarters. Remus wistfully flipped through album after album of Queen, REO Speedwagon, The Beetles, and so on. He stopped, however when he stumbled across a cassette tape from merely a few years ago. The greying man smiled ruefully; it was labeled "Queen". Remus knew where it came from, he had been there. Never much of a fan of Sirius's rock music; Remus popped the tape into a cassette player anyway and it started in the middle of a song. 

"Not too painful to the ears, I guess," he mused quietly to himself; since no one else was in the room to hear him. 

A curious book spine grabbed his attention from the corner of his eye at that moment. He crawled over to a large stack of books and without really thinking, attempted to pull his target book from underneath the large pile. The avalanche came. Years worth of dust and cobwebs covered the coughing Remus Lupin, who promptly swept the mess off his shoulders and became sidetracked once more with another book in front of him. The book lay open before him, its pages slowly trying to fade with time. It was a journal. Remus took in a sharp breath upon reading the entry, he realized whose it was. The journal belonged to Sirius as a teenager. Absorbed by the words in the book, Remus was slightly startled back to reality when the music playing changed from fast paced loud rock to a mournful poignant piano tune that caught his attention instantly.

_A hand above the water;_

_An angel reachin for the sky_

_Is it raining in Heaven?_

_Do you want us to cry?_

_And everywhere a broken heart is_

_On every lonely avenue_

_No one could reach them…_

_No one but you_

_One by one_

_Only the good die young_

_They're only flying too close to the sun_

_And life goes on_

_Without you…_

Remus found that the words reached him; like they were meant to describe his life and losses. For the first time ever, he understood when Sirius said that the lyrics can touch you, can speak to you.

He was reminded of the event in the journal from their Seventh year…

_The portrait of the Fat Lady was slammed forcibly shut. Heavy footsteps stomped into the Common Room, making James and Remus look up from their notes. Sirius had been gone all weekend; leaving his friends clueless to his whereabouts and reasons for leaving, all Sirius said to them was a frantic mumble, "Andromeda" and then left. _

_Now, however, Sirius came storming into the room ashen faced, red-eyed and tears stains down his cheeks. He flopped miserably onto the empty couch and put a pillow over his face. James and Remus approached him cautiously._

_"Padfoot, what's wrong, mate?" James asked quietly. The pillow moved._

_"Just let me suffocate," came the muffled reply. The tone in his voice was one they had never heard from the normally energetic Gryffindor. He sounded…_broken_._

_"What happened?" Remus asked quietly, resting his hand on Sirius's shoulder. The sullen young man didn't bother to jerk away._

_"Is it Andy?" Remus tried again. Sirius sat up and took the pillow away from his face, revealing fresh tears pouring anew. He nodded slowly._

_"She's really gone…" he choked. The other two looked as if a bomb had been dropped on them. Remus nodded in acknowledgement and withdrew to a quiet corner by the hearth; James, however, shook his head in disbelief. He tried to speak, but found he couldn't; no words could describe the way his heart felt after losing someone that felt so much like his own family. A discordant sob was heard from by the fire, and Remus's fragile-looking frame was shivering with his silent tears. James continued shaking his head in denial, until the weight of the grief in the room finally made him accept the situation; and he rested his arms on the couch and buried his face in his arms. _

There was no laughter that night in the Gryffindor Tower, and that night; not even the boys could hide their tears. Who said men don't cry?

Remus felt something warm and wet slide from his eye. He found a tear had escaped again; and he clumsily brushed it away. Andromeda had been a major part of James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter's first year at Hogwarts. She taught the boys a few complex spells that they had used against Snape and other Slytherins; she showed them the few secret passages she knew. Those passages had fed the boys hunger for adventure, and enticed them into finding the multitude marked on the map. Losing her, was like losing a mother or a sister. A little bit of each boy died when Andromeda did; but life went on without her as painful as it was. But things lightened up again when James and Lily got married, and the world Remus knew was suddenly bright and happy. James and his bride were the one shining symbol of hope in the dark times that had emerged. If only such hope could last forever. Harry was born, and it seemed life could go no higher; until a year later. 

Remus dreaded the autumn ever since Andromeda died; but that Halloween that the Potters were killed he hated it. The stinging tears prickled his eyes again.

_Another tricky situation  
I get to drowning in the Blues  
And I find myself thinking  
Well - what would you do ?  
  
Yes! - it was such an operation  
Forever paying every due  
Hell, you made a sensation  
You found a way through - and  
  
One by one  
Only the Good die young  
They're only flying to close to the sun  
We'll remember -  
Forever...__  
  
_

Remus recalled the night James and Lily were killed so vividly. The feelings he wished he could forget stuck with him through the years; helplessness, betrayal, and loneliness. Sure, now he knew that Peter was the traitor, not Sirius; but he couldn't rid himself of that lonely feeling of losing three friends and knowing the other was responsible. To this day he wished he could take every cruel thought he had of Sirius, and take back his feeling of grief and sympathy for Peter.

Why could happy times be forgotten so easily, and dark times be remembered too well? Remus couldn't answer either, yet he knew it was true. He also knew that he was tired of grieving. First his parents, then Andromeda, James and Lily, and now Sirius…

Suddenly he found himself crying and unable to stop. He buried his face in his hands, tears flowing greater than ever in his life. The grief of losing so many people he loved weighed down on him, and he cried for all of them. Tears fell on the open journal before him, smudging the words on the page. Remus suddenly realized this and picked the book up looking over through blurry eyes; and it hit him that this was all he had left of Sirius. All he had that was _really_ Sirius Black was his thoughts and handwriting. He suddenly hugged the journal close to him; embracing the only piece of himself his friend left behind; and squeezed his eyes tightly shut. The tears just came stronger, some of Sirius's precious writing was lost because of Remus. 

The amber eyed man noticed the song was still playing, he also found that the tears had stopped. He knew it then. He couldn't cry anymore; even if he wanted or felt like it. His cheeks were wet by now, but he didn't care. 

He opened the book that had intrigued him in the first place; finding it was a photo album. He went through every page; each photo more heartbreaking to him then the last. The pictures were happy; but not remembering that none of the people in them were alive anymore. The sound of footsteps approached the room; then what sounded like a trip and the footsteps continued. Remus never noticed them; lost in the music and memories swirling through his mind.

"Whatcha doin?" a female voice questioned, making Remus jump. He turned towards the doorway to see a girl with Neon green hair looking in curiously.

"Oh, hello Tonks," he said, now taking notice of his damp cheeks and hastily tried wiping the drying tears away, "Just looking at old pictures."

He surreptitiously concealed the journal in his robes pocket; not quite willing to show it or give to anyone else. Tonks looked down at the pictures waving cheerfully and laughing, and the smile on her face faded into a sad expression. She looked up at Remus, and saw his face; tear stained and still glistening.

"Have you been crying?" she asked quietly. He looked away from her and nodded somberly.

"For Sirius?" she inquired now. Remus faced her again,

"For everyone else who died before they should have," he said mournfully, "I've cried myself dry, and even for Sirius; I can't weep anymore."

And now the party must be over  
I guess we'll never understand  
The sense of your leaving  
Was it the way it was planned ?  
  
And so we grace another table  
And raise our glasses one more time  
There's a face at the window  
And I ain't never, never saying goodbye...

  
One by one  
Only the Good die young  
They're only flying to close to the sun  
Crying for nothing  
Crying for no-one  
No-one but you

      Fin.

A/N: ::sniffle:: Aww… Poor Rem! I was considering whether or not he should die at the end, but decided against it. I think a lot of you will learn I have a dislike for happy endings; so most of my stories (especially original ones) always have one or more characters die. ::shrugs:: I don't know; I love reading happy, cheerful, and funny stuff but it's the same story every time I sit before a keyboard. It starts out happy and a good kiddie story but turns into some dark gloomy angst piece. So rejoice fair readers! I had a happy ending! You may not think so but it is. Trust me.

Oh, just pretend a few years went by after OotP, and they're still staying at Grimmauld Place. Also, never mind that Rem couldn't have bought Siri the Queen tape with that tribute song on it. It's AU for Queen albums I guess. The song I this story was released in '98; that's why Rem couldn't have bought it while Siri was still alive. Anyways; was it slashy? Or just a desperately grieved friend? I cried while writing the part when they found out about Andy, and I started up again while Rem was sobbing his eyes out over the journal. Wait! I take it back; I never cry (Liar!) my eyes got shiny…

(just added) Wow! Thank you sooo much! I get home from school and log on to find 23 comments! That's a new personal record! I'm so glad everyone enjoyed it; and it seems the majority says it's not slash. I've also gone through and hopefully adjusted all of the grammatical and spelling errors. Wormmon abc: Who is Andromeda you ask? If you've read book five, Sirius mentions her as being the only decent relative he had and his favorite cousin. Andy's also Tonks's mum. I happened to like that character; whose personality was never described. She's in my happy MWPP fic, she's the hyper 7th year… 

Again; thanks fo rso many great reviews!

Click, click; review please!


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